Just Friends: Are You Sure?

“What’s wrong with two people spending time together?”


“We’re just friends.”

“Are you sure?”

Let’s clarify this: I am not against guy-girl friendship. I’m all up to it. Thinking of it now, I even have more guy friends than those of my gender.

By this means, my heart has fallen to plentiful of mistakes. Not all of my guy friendships started pure. Because oh dear, there are just guys who seem to be “The one.”

I recall the time when a guy friend walked me from church going to the place where I’m having my ladies small group. Mind you, I have already planned our wedding, naming our kids, and designing our beautiful home during that 15-minute walk. I am not joking. I have been guilty of this while my poor guy friend had no idea how adorable our kids are.

Although when asked by one of my mentors, “Joena, how are you and _____?”

“We’re good Ate. We’re just friends.

Yikes. Isn’t that such a big lie?

I also observed this to many singles — yes, Christian singles. We enjoy sending signals and then we disown them when the confrontation comes. After all, it’s in our hope that they will come sooner or later, even if God is not in the picture.

So let’s have a quick heart check with that “we’re just friends” mark, shall we?

1. Do you guys appear to be a couple of those around you?
Because if the answer to this is yes, you might want to step back a bit. Remember that out of the overflow of our heart, the mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45) So as with what our actions show. I know that we are not made to please people. That’s true. You should not live up to what people would say about your life. But, don’t you think we should be grateful to have people who are willing to speak life and correct us? To mentor us? Value those people. Contemplate to what they are telling you. Be accountable to them, especially to this friendship that we’re talking about.

If you guys appear to be a couple of those around you, this only means that no one could come close to your heart, including the one that God has for you. The more you spend time with Mr. Wrong, the less available you are to Mr. Right.

2. Do you pay special attention to each other?
Do you share things with this guy friend that you don’t normally share with your other guy friends? Does his name pop up right away when you need a quick drive to the grocery? Do you find yourself saying, “Oh you know what, _____ too!” “_____ would know how to do this.” “If only _____ is here.”

I know how heart-warming it is to have someone who acts special towards you when he’s around. But think about how is he when he’s with the company of other ladies. Now that is something to think about. Realized that there’s a huge difference between liking someone and liking the attention they give you.

Also, just in case you forget, Beloved, you are much too whole to be loved in halves.

3. Do you stick to each other even if you are with people?
Think about a Post-it note. The first time you use the note, it stays straight, the edges don’t curl, and it stays in place almost wherever you put it. After a couple of uses, how well does that Post-it note stick to any surface? Not well at all, right?

It even loses more stickiness when you put it on a dusty surface. The more impure the surface, the less ability it has to fuse. It is the same with our emotions. The more impure our actions are, the less ability we have to truly love. Don’t lose your stickiness for the wrong people. Keep it pure.

How do we act now?

Easy. Be friends with your singleness. Learn to fall in love with God over and over again.

Have you ever thought about how God would feel when you give attention, time, thoughts, and emotions to another human and not to Him? As if we’re telling God that He’s not enough.

Being single is the perfect and right season for you to enjoy God the most. There’s no better season when we can serve Him the most, focus on Him the most, trust Him the most and obey Him the most than being in the season of singleness. God wants you to have fun. Travel and go around places! Meet new people. Serve in unfamiliar ministries. Go out of your comfort zone! Have fun and don’t just be around guys where you’ll find your heart unprotected.

Trust that He’s not going to keep you single a day longer than He plans.

26 thoughts on “Just Friends: Are You Sure?

  1. I can relate to this also ate joena! Thank you for making this post. And your other posts as well. To be honest sobrang naeenlighten ako! I even copied your long walks with God. Hehe. Naiinsipire po ako sainyo! 😊 Hope to be friends with you ate! Surely, ang galing niyo pong leader. 🙂

    1. Hello Edilah 😊 Thank you for your kind words. Na-encourage ako ng sobra. I appreciate it. May God bless the works of your hands! Pursue Him everyday. 😊

  2. another inspiring message 🙂 naranasan ko na rin to and I know mali yung mga decision ko in this kind of situations..thank you for this 🙂 ❤

  3. Thank youuu Miss Joena for sharing such wisdom. I can truly say na walang taong nag-iisa sa battle/issue na pinagddaanan nya. God always uses people to inspire other people too. ❤

  4. How apt is this blog for these times, I like how simply true it is to gear our attention to the men we’re with and the redirection you bring to ourselves and to God.

  5. So much inspiration from you Joena 🙂 I got hooked with all your writings and I’m sharing it with my friends who might be prevented from wrong relationship.
    Keep on writing for His glory.
    God bless you!

  6. Read this one after reading your latest post “When a guy initiates friendship”. I was at first confused but then I got to read the part where we, as singles have to enjoy the season for God’s glorification. Thank you, i’m always sharing your bog posts to my girls from church! Keep it up! Praying that God will bless you more! 🙂

  7. I can really relate to this one, well almost. When I am with my school friends, I am like one of the boys.
    I am like Wonder Woman together with Superman and the Justice League. And there’s this one guy friend of mine in the group that I’ve given a special attention, the Superman in the group. For more than a year, I did not tell him that that’s what I’m feeling for him. Many times I tried to let go, but still falling for him. I also thought the same plan with this guy, just like what you wrote ms. Joena about your friend. Haha. At this moment, I am controlling myself not to get close to him, though it’s hard but I am now making a distance so that we can also find our way closer to God. Having the thought that if it’s us, then it will be us. 😁😁😁

  8. I can relate and somehow questioned my friendship with some other guys too! I would like to ask also some few questions regarding to my personal situation, what if the guy was your ex-suitor and now you guys became a really good friends? I mean, the special treatment was still there but somehow it has a borderline, should I be bother about it? Thank you ate joena!

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