What Hurts is When We Don’t Talk About It

If there is one thing I will never exchange in this world, that would probably be…

Relationships.

..and oh, road trips too! Mehe.

But seriously, how wonderful it is to have that connection with another human being, right? Nothing will beat talks, whether it is shallow or deep ones, (over cheesecake and milk tea of course! yay!) with someone who can laugh with you or can go “what-are-we-talking-about-again?” times with you.

The joy of receiving messages like, “Where are you? I need you in my life right now. Let’s meet up.” or “Are you crazy?! He’s not worth it!” is incomparable.

Plus, who wouldn’t treasure hours spent with someone where in you just sat together, ate together, and made plans together. You discussed life and you realized that you guys are not the same people you were five years ago. Yet, you’ll be thankful that you’re sharing that explicit moment with the person in front of you.

Relationships. It makes life radiant, superb, and exciting. Yet, why do people choose to shut their doors towards this blessing? Why is it so easy for people to jump from one relationship to another just because there was a bump along the way?

Worst? People stop talking. And this is not just the usual cutoff of all the, “how are yous” but it went all the way down to people who decided to stop investing to the relationships around them.

My friends, we have to talk about this. What hurts is when we don’t talk about it.

1. Lukewarm is no good

One thing I learned over time, and still learning mind you, is the importance of being optimistic in life. You have to be an enthusiast. When you are interested with something, especially with someone, no matter how large the effort you required to put in, go at it full speed. No holding back, bro. You go honest when you need to be. Lukewarm is no good in relationships. You confess it when your mad or simply not in the mood. You go real and say, “Hey, I really wish we could spend more quality time. I miss your company. But I’m happy with how God is making you so fruitful in this season. I love you and I’m proud of you.”

Embrace relationships with both arms, truly invest to it, entrust your emotions to it, love it, and above all become passionate about it. Conquer the fear of being abandoned someday. You are either supportive or not at all. Because at the end of the day, for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

2. Be that guy who breaks the truth

If you are hurting and you got offended by this friend of yours, be that guy who breaks the truth. Don’t settle with, “It’s okay. I love him anyway. I’ll give way.”

If that is your way of thinking, I don’t think you are loving the person enough. You are actually being self-centered and this is exactly what the enemy wants to see in your life. Seeing you so focused with yourself and hiding all your emotions in darkness. Put it into light. Dear heart, you can’t handle it all by yourself.

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. (1 Corinthians 13:6)

Remember that there is a huge difference between accepting and tolerating. Relationships are designed to make you grow and not to make you a slave of pain. If people are having a hard time to say what’s truly happening, be that guy who breaks the truth. Because we always end up thanking that guy later.

Here’s a piece of advice though. If you happen to decide to be that guy who breaks the truth, makes sure you break it in love. Be reminded that the purpose of the conversation is to restore, and not to blame. Oh dear one, trust that God’s grace will take over as you make a habit of choosing to win relationships over

3. Be a stayer

Be brave and be a stayer.

If love truly is what makes the relationship works, then don’t turn away quickly when roads become tough. Beloved, I want to save you from having regrets. Your life is not supposed to be a story of “What if” but it should be more of the “Even if.”

Even if the distance is tiring, I am going to stay.

Even if I don’t see him more often unlike before, I am going to stay.

Even if he’s surrounded with people I no longer know of, I am going to stay.

Even if it hurts, I am going to stay.

Staying is a decision. And when it is properly express with someone, staying becomes an agreement. It becomes an understanding between two people who wants to fight for each other and not against each other.

And if staying becomes hard because of every heartache and every pain, be assured that they will all start to look tiny because the battle has been won a long time ago. When Jesus made a decision to stay, for sinners like you and me. 

..for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

So I urge you, friends, to enjoy life. Enjoy your relationships. Fill your life with so much love that it overflows.