“I am willing to do everything for her. I just want her to at least appreciate that.”
“I did all that he asked me. How is it not enough yet?”
“He doesn’t pursue me anymore. I felt so loved before but he just stopped doing the little things.”
“I quit. I quit from loving you.”
Oh, dear. When the going gets tough, it doesn’t mean it’s the time to quit, not in love, not in relationships.
Love is good but love is also unfair.
For you who is in a relationship now and you’re struggling, I pray that these words will speak answers to your heart. I pray that more than saving your relationship, it would save you from drowning into your own deceiving thoughts.
Wake up, sweetheart. Listen to me, love is unfair. And the sooner you accept that imperfection, the quicker you’d see how God is working in your relationship and in your heart.
Who said that men should love women more?
Whoever said that you should love a person more than s/he loves you?
Those questions are just way too silly. A pointless set of standard.
1. Love shouldn’t be measured
Women, it doesn’t matter whether he loves you more than you love him. Love is not a race. Love is not a game of tug-of-war. Love shouldn’t be measured.
For if it is, then guess what? His love for you will never be enough. Do you want your man to spend all his life on just meeting the relationship standards you just made up? And if he didn’t live up to the measurement, then, therefore, he failed on loving you. He failed on sacrificing himself because apparently, he wasn’t able to satisfy these worldly cravings you’re asking him.
He wasn’t able to buy you flowers. Too bad, he doesn’t remember you anymore.
He doesn’t reply as fast as he did before. Oh, what a shame? He’s just way too busy for you.
He doesn’t tell you all the sweet stuff anymore. Girl, leave him. He’s not worth it!
Is that how love should be? Did you really just expect good sweet days when you said yes to him? Just all happy blissful days, huh? None of the messy stuff? None of the ugly fights? None of the sad draining days?
What if I tell you that it’s during those ugly days that your love truly grows?
It’s during those ugly days that you get to grow together.
It’s during those ugly days that you get to ask hard questions.
It’s during those ugly days that you get to search your heart for what truly matters, him or your heart’s desires?
It’s during those ugly days that you get to come much closer to the feet of the Lord. Asking for more grace. Asking for a heart to forgive deeper. Asking for all the bad records to be made clean all over again. To be made new. For you and for him.
And let me tell you, nothing beats the beauty of ugly days. Don’t miss it just because he wasn’t able to give you flowers that soon will fade.
2. Love declares, “I’ll do it for you even if you wouldn’t for me.”
I find it so fascinating how relationships push us to our limits and beyond. I find it admirable to see someone give without receiving anything in return. I find it attractive to see someone so passionate about doing things even without having people to commend him.
He gives and he’s happy.
He works to the best of his ability and his fulfilled.
He encourages people on his own worst day and he ended up being so in love.
That’s how it should be.
Because giving changes us. Love changes us. Selfless love does something deep in us.
So, dear friends, do it. Love is unfair. You’ll do it even if he wouldn’t.
At the end of the day, what truly counts is not really the words or things you receive but the amount of yourself you’ve given. Give so that you can be filled again until you overflow with an immeasurable amount of joy.
3. We made love unfair.
Do you know that since the beginning of days, there’s someone who willingly gave everything he has just to win your heart every single day?
There’s this guy who is crazily madly deeply in love with you.
There’s this guy who gets nothing but rejection from you and from me and from the world yet still proudly claims in his heart, “I love you, no matter what.”
All that is Jesus.
He’s the only One who can choose to stay despite seeing all the ugly parts of you and me.
He’s the only One who can constantly give Himself without ever expecting anything in return.
He’s the only One who sees how beautiful unconditional love is once shared with you.
He gives all that He is to us and yet, we still foolishly ask for flowers that soon will fade.
We made love unfair for Him but He proves His love for us, every day.
He wakes you up every morning, delightful to see you conquer new mountains, but all you do is to complain how high they are. Rather than tapping on the strength and grace He has already freely given you.
He’s all, “Give the love that is unfair to me and I’ll make it the love that never changes for you.”
He’s all about you and guess what? You’re all about Him too.
Go and love like Him. You can.
Because you have been.