Author: joenasandiego

Yet you are loved nonetheless.

There are so many people who I would hear crying and demanding every single day with the same sentiment, “I deserve to be loved.”

And there are also hundreds of times I witnessed friends and family responding with, “Yes. You really do deserve to be loved. So go, leave that person and find that one who would love you like no other.”

I hate to break it, sweetheart. I might even be the first one to say this. You may not even agree with me but today, I want you to hear the other side of the story, “You don’t deserve to be loved but you are loved nonetheless.”

Isn’t that a better truth to live out every day rather than having so much self-entitlement to be loved by people who are also equally hungry for the very love that no human being is capable to give?

But the sad truth is, so many of us have fallen to this kind of thinking. It’s heartbreaking to see someone continually run for love that will never fulfill.

Here’s the thing; When you constantly live a life which demands love from people, it will not just drain the people around you, but it will also trap you in a boring cycle of, “Do it and I’ll do it for you. Love me and I’ll love you too.”

Every time you proclaim that you deserve to be loved, it’s as if telling people, “Your love is not enough.”

Every time you shout this selfish ugly truth, you also silently scream, “You have not met my standards. Do better. Love me better.”

When are you ever gonna learn that you don’t need any reason to love? Love is dying to your own self, forsaking all others, forsaking your own needs, and going the extra mile without leaving each other. Love is honoring one another above yourselves. In love, there’s no room for “selfie,” it’s always “you before me.”

“I don’t deserve to be loved but I am loved nonetheless.”

“I am loved despite my faults and weaknesses.”

“I am loved despite my past.”

“I am loved despite being me.”

You are dearly loved despite being you.

When you fully grasp this truth, you will be able to freely love someone even if not receiving anything in return. You will be able to live a life not dependent on anyone’s actions or words. You will be able to walk on a secured life knowing that no matter what other people would throw at you, you are loved, despite being you.

So the next time you hear someone say, “I deserve to be loved.” please don’t feed their selfish yearning. Respond the way that they are not expecting. Tell them gently, “Hey, actually, you don’t deserve to be loved. None of us do. But you know what? We don’t deserve to be loved yet we are loved completely, deeply, and passionately.”

There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman who gives endlessly yet grows overwhelmingly. She’s not lacking of anything. She likes herself better when she’s with people equally broken like her. She finds joy in putting herself last.

She rests in the peace knowing that she is loved by her greatest Lover who loved her first and proclaims daily, “You are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

So I see that you’ve reached your end. You walked out from the fight and left everything else we worked hard for. You said that you’re going to wait but I guess the waiting is over. You grew tired. You’ve let go of my hands, of my heart, and of my leading. You lost trust in Me.

For the past few days, you stopped calling My name. But tonight, you did.

You remembered me. In fact, you shouted for me. But your words are no longer with me.

I heard you loud and clear. In tears. With a broken heart, you said, “Jesus, I don’t need you.”

When you reach your end, am I still enough?

When promises are not fulfilled, am I still enough?

When all else fails, am I still going to be enough?

I thought I’d ask you again, am I still enough?

I know you. I know you so well my beloved. You don’t give up easily. You hold on even if there are no more reasons to stay. You fight even if nobody else believes that’s it worth it. You love even if it hurts like hell.

You’ve gone through seasons of hardships and victories. You’ve endured pain. You’ve celebrated joy. You have moved from places to places, reached mountains to mountains. You’ve grown from strength to strength.

But sweetheart, today as you give up, you’ve lost grip of me. There’s no more growing from grace to grace. There’s no more walking from freedom to freedom.

Who are you going to turn to? In this life, who else will ever fulfill your deepest longing? Who else will walk through the valleys of death just to save a heart like yours?

And even if you’ve turned to someone else, my heart is still all over you. You may come empty, but my love will never be. You may look full, but oh I can see you. I see your weeping eyes. This “someone else” may save the day, but I am the One greater, who have already saved your beginning to the end until eternity stands.

So here’s a lesson for you my darling. When you reached your end, I asked you not to give up but to surrender. I asked you to be broken gracefully. I asked you to let me be your strength when you are weak. I asked you to be free from all anxieties and suffering.

Because here I am, your Father, arms wide-open, I’ve already conquered these battles for you. I know what’s going to happen. I know what happened. I know what is happening. I am in control. Let me be in control.

I asked you for one thing: Delight in me.

Delight in my presence. Delight in my goodness. Delight in my mornings. Delight in my timing. Delight in my faithfulness. Cause you’re not alone. Oh, my love, you will never be alone.

As you delight in me, everything will move.

Once closed, will finally be opened.

Not doors. Not connections. Not relationships. Not yet.

Once closed, will finally be opened.

Your heart

Once closed, will finally be opened.

Your heart, first.

Miracles will follow, I promise you. Strength will be given. Yes will be everywhere.

Call for me. Call for your Father. Don’t work alone. It’s not by your might, not by your power, but by my Spirit.

When you don’t know what to do, kneel down in surrender.

Fight the way you used to fight. By prayers and petitions.

When nothing seems to work, worship will make a way.

Watch how I exalt the humble. Watch how I take delight in those who seek me with all their heart. Watch how I established the ways of a man as he commits his life to me and only me.

Watch as I change your heart, from a heart seeking for victories to a heart longing to be a blessing.

Nothing else fulfills. No one else secures than a love who patiently waits, perfectly heals, and unconditionally loves.

You will hear a thousand good stories. But our adventure together is the best out there. It’s personal. It’s perfectly written. It’s filled with wonders. And sweet little darling, be ready. I will call you deeper. I will lift you higher. You will lose more as you gain more.

This is you. Perfectly flawed. Perfectly loved.

I know that we haven’t spoken for quite some time now. I see you every day but I have forgotten to love you in His way.

I’ve pushed you, a lot. I’ve pushed you to pursue things that have taken away your joy. I’ve pushed you to go to places where your heart is not into. I’ve pushed you to stay even if you’re draining yourself away.

You’re beyond admirable, do you know that? You have shown me that there are miracles in staying. You have made me believe that your purpose is unbreakable no matter where life brings you. You fought battles you’ve won the moment you said, “Lord, only by your grace.”

But you’ve also pushed. You pushed us to continue walking on water even if it was the darkest of all nights. It was one of the scariest things we’ve ever done but you held on tight. Not to me, not even to your own strength but to the One who called your name. How can you possibly trust the voice whose only words are, “I am with you.”

You’re right. Of course, you’re always right. Only by His grace.

Hey self, thank you for pushing. We’ve seen wonders because of your brave wild heart. I will continually trust His voice with you. He is our Captain. I will believe again because you did. I will believe again no matter how long this journey would be. Through strong winds and heavy rains. We will believe again and again and again. After all, our Captain knows where we’re going. His voice is our peace.

For all that, self, I want you to promise me something. Promise me you’d enjoy our journey. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. Promise me that you will save the best for yourself, for us. Self, we’re not made for leftovers.

I’m struggling, buddy. I’m struggling on how you greatly love others yet you’ve almost left nothing for us. I see how you lavishly speak grace and gentleness to our friends but nobody knows how you cry in the middle of the night, in pain and in search for the very love you’re giving.

You always give but you never come back for refilling. You kill us both with your sweet smiles of comfort for others. It kills me to see you so selflessly give all that you have just to receive nothing but rejections and pain. You kill us. You kill us when you try to please men. You take away everything that God has richly entrusted to us because you run to the love that will never fulfill. You took away our joy.

But self, I love you.

I love you for all that you are.

Because you are good.

You are selflessly good.

You forgive like no other.

You love beyond compare.

And you are nothing apart from the King of our heart.

We are nothing apart from the King of our heart. And self, we’re good only because He is good. We’re able to forgive because He has released forgiveness even before we have sinned. We can love because we have been loved, tremendously, abundantly, oh so exceedingly.

And here’s how He loves; wholeheartedly.

Self, stop loving people by giving yourself piece by piece. Our heart is not meant to be given in fragments. We have been given the love that is not broken. Our love is extravagant. Our God is extravagant. So the next time we love, we give in whole and we receive in full. The love that doesn’t make sense. The love that rejoices not just in our beginnings and endings but delights in all our in-betweens.

Self, we’ll go far in this love. Some days, we’ll be dead tired but as long as we’re growing more and more like our King, the love that doesn’t make sense will be the love that will keep us running, reaching, and surrendering. Because here’s the thing: we no longer need to cover anything. He has seen it all and loves us all the same. No need to hide. We are safe in the arms that proclaim, “I have loved you before you even knew it was love.”

Hey buddy, shall we? Are you ready to keep moving? Are you ready to go deeper and higher to the journey that is set before us? I am whenever you are. Take all the time you need. I can wait because you have always been the best teammate. We truly make the best team.

I promise you. You will never be alone.

“I am willing to do everything for her. I just want her to at least appreciate that.”

“I did all that he asked me. How is it not enough yet?”

“He doesn’t pursue me anymore. I felt so loved before but he just stopped doing the little things.”

“I quit. I quit from loving you.”

Oh, dear. When the going gets tough, it doesn’t mean it’s the time to quit, not in love, not in relationships.

Love is good but love is also unfair.

For you who is in a relationship now and you’re struggling, I pray that these words will speak answers to your heart. I pray that more than saving your relationship, it would save you from drowning into your own deceiving thoughts.

Wake up, sweetheart. Listen to me, love is unfair. And the sooner you accept that imperfection, the quicker you’d see how God is working in your relationship and in your heart.

Who said that men should love women more?

Whoever said that you should love a person more than s/he loves you?

Those questions are just way too silly. A pointless set of standard.

1. Love shouldn’t be measured

Women, it doesn’t matter whether he loves you more than you love him. Love is not a race. Love is not a game of tug-of-war. Love shouldn’t be measured.

For if it is, then guess what? His love for you will never be enough. Do you want your man to spend all his life on just meeting the relationship standards you just made up? And if he didn’t live up to the measurement, then, therefore, he failed on loving you. He failed on sacrificing himself because apparently, he wasn’t able to satisfy these worldly cravings you’re asking him.

He wasn’t able to buy you flowers. Too bad, he doesn’t remember you anymore.

He doesn’t reply as fast as he did before. Oh, what a shame? He’s just way too busy for you.

He doesn’t tell you all the sweet stuff anymore. Girl, leave him. He’s not worth it!

Is that how love should be? Did you really just expect good sweet days when you said yes to him? Just all happy blissful days, huh? None of the messy stuff? None of the ugly fights? None of the sad draining days?

What if I tell you that it’s during those ugly days that your love truly grows?

It’s during those ugly days that you get to grow together.

It’s during those ugly days that you get to ask hard questions.

It’s during those ugly days that you get to search your heart for what truly matters, him or your heart’s desires?

It’s during those ugly days that you get to come much closer to the feet of the Lord. Asking for more grace. Asking for a heart to forgive deeper. Asking for all the bad records to be made clean all over again. To be made new. For you and for him.

And let me tell you, nothing beats the beauty of ugly days. Don’t miss it just because he wasn’t able to give you flowers that soon will fade.

2. Love declares, “I’ll do it for you even if you wouldn’t for me.”

I find it so fascinating how relationships push us to our limits and beyond. I find it admirable to see someone give without receiving anything in return. I find it attractive to see someone so passionate about doing things even without having people to commend him.

He gives and he’s happy.

He works to the best of his ability and his fulfilled.

He encourages people on his own worst day and he ended up being so in love.

That’s how it should be.

Because giving changes us. Love changes us. Selfless love does something deep in us.

So, dear friends, do it. Love is unfair. You’ll do it even if he wouldn’t.

At the end of the day, what truly counts is not really the words or things you receive but the amount of yourself you’ve given. Give so that you can be filled again until you overflow with an immeasurable amount of joy.

3. We made love unfair.

Do you know that since the beginning of days, there’s someone who willingly gave everything he has just to win your heart every single day?

There’s this guy who is crazily madly deeply in love with you.

There’s this guy who gets nothing but rejection from you and from me and from the world yet still proudly claims in his heart, “I love you, no matter what.”

All that is Jesus.

He’s the only One who can choose to stay despite seeing all the ugly parts of you and me.

He’s the only One who can constantly give Himself without ever expecting anything in return.

He’s the only One who sees how beautiful unconditional love is once shared with you.

He gives all that He is to us and yet, we still foolishly ask for flowers that soon will fade.

We made love unfair for Him but He proves His love for us, every day.

He wakes you up every morning, delightful to see you conquer new mountains, but all you do is to complain how high they are. Rather than tapping on the strength and grace He has already freely given you.

He’s all, “Give the love that is unfair to me and I’ll make it the love that never changes for you.”

He’s all about you and guess what? You’re all about Him too.

Go and love like Him. You can.

Because you have been.

Hindi naman talaga kita nakalimutan.

Maari bang tuluyang mawala ang lahat ng meron tayo?

Maari bang makalimutan kung paano natin napatunayan sa mundo na hindi lahat ng bago, masama?

Maari bang hindi na ituloy ang kaisa-isang bagay na tumutulak sakin magpatuloy?

Maari bang makalimot ang puso?

Babalik ka rin.

Alam ko, babalik ka rin. Alam ko na magkakaroon ulit ng bagong tayo. Alam ko, alam ng puso ko.

Pero ngayon, titigil muna tayo.

May bukas, ngunit wala munang ngayon.

May pag-asa, ngunit wala munang pilitan.

Mahal kita ngunit titigil muna.

Titigil muna para sa tamang panahon, kapag hindi na kita kayang ipagpalit sa mga bagay na panandalian lang, mahanap ulit kita. Mahanap ko ulit tayo.

Titigil muna para mabigyan ko ng pagkakataon ang puso kong lumaban.

Titigil muna para ikaw naman ang mahanap, ang maipaglaban.

Titigil muna para makabuo ulit ng istorya na may panibagong tagpuan.

Maari bang itigil muna ang ngayon para may bukas?

Gustong gusto kita pero hindi ko gusto kung anong meron tayo.

Gusto kong magsimula ulit. Kahit masakit. Kahit may masasaktan. Kahit lahat ng nakasanayan, mawala.

Kasi sigurado ako, babalik ka rin.

Hindi ako tumatakas. Hindi rin ako umiiwas.

Wala namang tatakasan. Wala ring iiwasan. Pero may kailangan iwanan.

Kailangang mamili. Kailangang may piliin.

Iiwanan kita pero pipiliin ko tayo.

Pipiliin kong maniwala sa sinasabi ng Diyos, “May sakit pero may Ako.”

Babalik ka rin. Babalik rin ako. Sa kamay na kahit kailan hindi mang-iiwan.

May sakit pero may ako. May sakit pero may ako. May sakit pero may ako.

May darating na bukas.

May darating na bagong ikaw.

May darating na bagong ako.

May darating.

Babalik ka rin.