To The Black Sheep of the Family: Come Home

Hi. It’s me. Your older sister.

I know that I might be the last person you want to talk to now. I know too that there were countless of times that I’m beyond mean to you. And there’s no reason for you at all to read this or to even have a conversation with me.

But, I beg you. Please, let’s talk.

The kind of conversation that we never had a chance to enjoy.

The kind of conversation where I can speak life to you and not judge you.

The kind of conversation where I’m the one asking for forgiveness and not you.

The kind of conversation that starts with love and not shouting or screaming. The one that ends with high hopes and not dead dreams.


I want you to know that you are not the black sheep of the family. No one is. You are important. You are deeply loved by us. I’m sorry that we made you feel the opposite for so many years. It’s my hope that it’s not too late for you to stop thinking that you’re not part of our family. Because you are. You truly are. What will we do without you?

I asked myself tonight: If there’s one bad memory I’d like to change in the past, what is it?

And you know where my mind and heart led me? It was that stormy night in our house wherein I was yelling at you. I was so full of anger. I was raging of madness. Do you still remember the reason why I was so mad that time? It was because of your report card. You got this really poor list of grades and for my standard as an honor student, it was completely unacceptable! I can’t accept that I have a brother who’s failing in school.

And what? You were just in second grade that time and I was throwing all those unfair expectations to your life at such a young age. I was screaming and screaming and shouting, “I don’t want to have a brother who fails in school. You better do good. Fix yourself!” Then, I saw your eyes. I will never forget those eyes. You were crying. You were so confused. My poor little brother. Your eyes were shouting, “Ate, please help me.” But I completely ignored it because I was so full of myself. Forgive me. I could’ve acted like your sister and not your enemy. I’m sorry that I did not hug you instead. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Ever since that night, you never did good in school anymore. You just stopped trying. You started doing more and more unbelievable stuff. You started fighting with your classmates. You always go back home with a bruise on your face. You never gave us your report cards anymore and the only time we could be able to see it is when your teacher would call our Mom and tell her, “Your son is badly failing. He’s never going to move up. He failed.”

You know what’s the worst thing? The distance between us.

It’s not just you. I’m not going to blame you for this painful distance between us. Yes, you created it. But we never tried to reach out. We set you aside because we know that you’re just going to do the same horrible thing over and over again. We got tired of receiving bad news about you from here and there. Just like you, we just stopped trying.

And then, this heartbreaking distance happened. We live under the same roof but you’re always in your room. Always. We have some family pictures that you weren’t included because you’re simply not there. When people ask if how many brothers do I have, they always get surprised that I have two. Because they don’t know anything about you. They do not know you exist.

Why did you hide yourself? Why did you choose to be all by your own? Why did you choose your friends over us? Sometimes, when I passed by your room, I always hear this loud music. I often wonder, were you putting up the volume high just so we will not hear you crying? I often stop at your door and just sit down there and pray that one day, you would open your door and I will hug you so tight. Then we will be back to the night when you were still in second grade and I will tell you, “I believe in you. You’re smart. You’re the smartest kid I know. Ate will help you. Just tell me what to do. I will help you. Tell me what to do. I love you.”

Tonight, I cried out to the Lord. To save you. To redeem you from whatever bad record you have. I cried out that God will make you feel the love that I wasn’t able to give you. I cried out that God will speak to you the way that would bring life and direction. I cried out that God will pour out healing upon healing to your hidden wounds that you’re trying hard to hide. My brother, you are loved. You are healed. You are not forgotten.

You have a mighty destiny in the Lord. Forget what this world would say. They don’t know what they are talking about. You are made for a purpose. Search for that. Seek the Lord for that. Walk in His light. You no longer need to hide in the darkness of your room. You’re not fighting alone. You don’t need to fight alone.

I loved you before. I love you now. I would still choose to love you.

When the world forsakes you and throws stones at you, I promise to stand with you and never judge you. We don’t have this distance anymore. You’re safe in me. You’re safe in the Lord. No matter how many mistakes. No matter how many failures. No matter how screwed up your past is. Know that those are all just part of the story. You are not all of those. You’re strong. You’re going to use those stones thrown at you and build houses in God’s kingdom.

You’re not a black sheep. You are just a lost sheep finding his way back to God’s embrace. Just like all of us.

And whenever you’re ready, come home.

Please come home.

Let’s celebrate brokenness turned into a love story. Altogether beautiful and wonderful.

Come home, little brother.


Build Him Up, Not Bully Him

This time, I’m on the side of the men.
Forgive me ladies but I think lately, we are forgetting how to truly speak with gentleness and love.
I have been reading a lot of posts about women degrading the value of men because of some failed relationships or even just because of some small mistakes. And no, I’m not putting aside the pain that we, women, felt.
But since when it became more important to win an argument or a conflict rather than winning a person in the relationship?
Whether it’s online or when we’re with our group of girlfriends, we allow our passion to convey something win over than really thinking, “Am I building him up when I say this?” or I just want to fulfill my satisfaction to release my thoughts?
Not all who are passionate are driven out of love. It’s always better to check our hearts first.
So here goes to you men, you still have us on your side. 🙂
1. Build him up, not bully him.
A few months ago, I had a talk with my boyfriend regarding a female friend of us. I shared with him my heart on how I dislike how this friend of us talks to him. She frequently speaks careless words that are either just for the sake of a good laugh but obviously putting my boyfriend down.
When I expressed my observations to my boyfriend, he told me that he didn’t mind it all. That he got used to it. And this is where the issue enters. Because men got used to us, women, speaking death to them, they didn’t mind receiving the destructive words. What’s scary is eventually they will live up to it.
Then we, women, wonder why can’t they act out of leadership? When all we do is to throw them words full of death than words that give life.
So for you gentleman, you also have a right to speak out. Don’t allow our words to kill what God has called you It’s our joy to be corrected by a man who can lead. You are called to build His church and to love His bride.
2. Men, you are made to pursue not to please.
I understand that women need pursuing but sometimes we get too demanding too. Regardless of how much you love us, please hold your ground and say, “Honey, enough is enough. Let me lead you just like how God called me to lead.”
Women can really push you to your limits. And aren’t you thankful that through us, God grows you in so much patience, kindness, self-control, and selfless love? I know, you’re welcome.
Haha. Kidding all aside, dear men, this is a good reminder not just for you guys but also for us, women, to go back to your original proposal: Can I pursue you?
“Can I pursue you?” not “Can I please you?”
Pleasing really fails in comparison of what Pursuing can bring.
Pursuing means you do it together, you run after it together. You pursue Jesus Christ together. Your relationship brings glory to God. Your relationship worships the Lord.
Pleasing means bringing satisfaction, whether it’s her satisfaction or your own satisfaction. It means, “Give it to me or else I won’t go with you.”
Pleasing is not a path for two people.
Pursuing is a road walked by two people wanting to reach the same goal: To know God more.
So here’s a better progress:

From “Can I pursue you?” to “Can I pursue God with you?”

After all, nobody likes to hear the words, “You did not run after me.”
Men, your real job is to bring us closer to Christ and not to our heart’s desires.
Don’t worry. God’s grace is always sufficient no matter how hard headed ladies can be.
All prayers go to you, mighty men. Off to your leadership role!

Get Your Heart Back

Love, it’s time.

To get your heart back.


Come home. You need to hear these words again from His gentle whisper,

You need to hear these words again from His gentle whisper, “I have chosen you a long time ago and I will choose you again.”

You have been wandering thoughtlessly, bits-and-pieces, long enough.

Our Father says, “Come home. Come to Me. Get what’s always been yours.”

Love, get your identity back.

Be His again because you’ve always been His.

Don’t be afraid to start things all over again. Maybe, it’s time to start things all over again.

You just got to let go of everything.

You can’t love when you’re still holding that offense in your heart.

Anything in the dark, anything that hinders you from following His voice, anything that hurts, in His arms, everything will be wiped out.

Only kind embrace. Only tears of joy. Only grace that covers every sin.

In His arms, we’ll laugh together at how childish our past actions were. We’ll be grateful that our childish hearts led us back to our home. Right at the Father’s arms, where forgiveness overflows.

When we drifted too far, trust that there’s nowhere that we can go where He won’t be there.

So, come back.

Get your heart back.

Because He still loves the way you are.

You’re the one who laughs at the silliest of things. The one who looks at the stars and tells them, “One day, I’ll shine like you guys too.”

The one who enjoys the stillness and the one who dreams without limits.

The one who’s full of passion. The one who runs after purity. The one who trusts without a doubt. The one who loves beyond compare.

You’re that one. We love you, love.

You needed to hear that. You are loved.

Thank you for loving the world wholeheartedly, like no one else.

And I’m sorry it wounded you back. I’m sorry it rejected you. I’m sorry it shut its doors from you.

I’m sorry it took away your heart.

But look at you now, you have learned to love deeper.

You have learned to let go of hundreds of shallow relationships in exchange for few deep ones who know how to stay.

You have learned to open your closet of secrets to family and friends who told you, “You will never hide in this closet again. We’ve seen everything and nothing changed. You’re still part of us. There’s no escaping now. There’s no escaping in this simple love. We love you, in highs and lows.”

You have learned to walk away from temporary happiness and treasured the eternal joy of discovering that you can’t have it all in your hands.

So you let go and trust that everything will be just fine in the hands of the One who made it all. After all, your small hands are also being held by His hands, keeping it all warm and alive.

Now that you’re coming back.

Now that you’re walking out of your comfort zone again.

Now that you’re feeling things again.

I want the first one to say: Welcome to the fight.

That’s the beauty of this war. Whether we lose or win, we can keep coming back to know Him more. In pursuit of Him making our hearts new every single time, in every season, in mourning and in dancing.

His heart as your heart.

Your heart is no longer yours. Just in case you forgot, it’s always been His.

Protect it better this time and slow down, will you?

Your heart wants to stay this time. Enjoy the hustle. God enjoys the ones who stay.

The hopes and fears have met tonight. They worked faithfully together just for you. Now, is the time you will forget all the heartbreaks and everything will be alright.

You have your heart back.


God Doesn’t Want You to Spend The Rest of Your Life Waiting

“Why didn’t you tell me that this is going to happen?”

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life waiting.” ..God says


He knows you’ll get tired of waiting

He doesn’t want you to stop living just because you got tired of waiting. He wants you to spend your life trusting Him and not waiting for Him. Because the journey can be long and some people might leave you along the way yet when you trust in Him, you know that you will never be alone.

That when you trust instead of wait, your heart knows that you already have everything in Him.

That you’re not lacking. That you’re not waiting for something to happen before you can call yourself, “complete.

Because you are. You already are.

You are made whole by the blood of Jesus who sacrificed His life for you. Let me repeat that: Someone, whom you possibly haven’t met yet before, decided to spare His life just for you to stop waiting to be complete. He made you whole. You are already complete in the love of Christ.

Nothing of this world can add up to your life that can make you feel more full and joyful than His final words for you, “It is finished.

He doesn’t want you to miss out 

Because the Lord knows you so well. He knows that if you have even a hint of idea when things can possibly happen, you might stop asking, praying and seeking.

And it’s in the asking, praying and seeking that your heart gets aligned to His heart.

He doesn’t want you to miss out on all those blooming, growing and refining in Him.

He doesn’t want you to miss out the joy of discovering the little victories along the way. He doesn’t want you to miss out even one relationship that can happen in subways or random coffeeshops. He doesn’t want you to miss out on any memories you can have at the place where He planted you. Beloved, you are not just shaped to dream but you are also meant to grow.

Wherever you are. Whatever situation you are in. Choose to grow. Don’t miss out. Don’t take the shortcut. That path is meaningless. Take the road which leads to eternal things.

Take the path where God leads and where God has the full control over everything. Give it all up because ultimately, at the end of day, He doesn’t want you to miss out on your greatest reward: Him.

He wants you to grow and never stop growing

He wants you take full adventure of what this life can offer. He wants you to be brave, brave enough to stop waiting and start saying “yes” to the things you’ve never imagined you’ll be doing before.

He wants you to touch people’s lives and not just watch them walk passed by you. He wants you to initiate things. He wants you to feel rejected so you could choose to love over and over again despite not getting things the way you wanted. He knows that one day, you’d see that there is a purpose behind the rejection.

When that day comes, you will cry your heart out. It will once again bring you to your knees, “God, you’re right. It’s all worth it. Use me more. Whatever it takes. Just use me more.

Here’s the thing: Throw away everything that can hinder to your growth. Grow in the Lord and not in being the best amongst. Grow in loving the Lord and not in loving the man you thought you need.

Seek growth. It’s gonna be painful but trust that the Lord has a purpose. And He is a God who can redeem you even from the worst shame and even from the biggest lost. For the record, He is the God who turned water into wine, who fed the five thousand with seven loaves of bread and the God who brought dead to life.

He is a God who has plans to prosper you. Move. Don’t spend the rest of your life waiting. Grow. He’ll be with you every step of the way. In Him, you have everything you need.

I Know My Princess

I know you. I know your scent. I know your childhood dreams. I know what can truly make you smile. I know what’s in your heart.


Yet lately, you’re starting to forget the name I have given you.

You are Mine.

Write this in the tablet of your heart: I am eternally loved.

You have my love, sweetheart. You had it since day one and you’ll have it everywhere you’ll go. How can you forget the kind of love who chooses to still embrace you even in your most sinful hour?

No. Believe Me. Look at Me. This love will last. Nothing can separate us.

I am not that guy who fails and forgets. I am not that guy who doesn’t stand on his word. I am not that guy who is full of promises.

This relationship I have with you? It’s not made of promises, it is built by a commitment.

It is not made of emotions. You can’t wake up each morning looking for a seemingly good feeling you had yesterday. We are much better than yesterday. You have to understand beloved that I never wanted our relationship to be “just” stable. I want our relationship to continue growing from heartache to heartache. From victory to victory. From love to love.

Know Me deeper. Seek Me deeper.  Trust Me in brokenness. Stay with Me in transitions.

I am your Father. I take full responsibility of everything about you. You are Mine.

You are forgiven.

I release you from all the condemnations the enemy had planted in your heart long time ago. It’s now your turn. Release yourself too.

This is where you stand: You are cleansed. You are made pure by My wounds.

I am the One who initiated this forgiveness. All I want you to do is to respond. Accept Me. Ask for Me again. Knock.

Why won’t you choose Me? I want you to pursue Me.

I will meet you where you are. I want you back.

My love has always been clear. Even when you were still a sinner, it has always been clear. You are far greater than any sin. Your worth is not lessen because of the dirt of your worldly relationships. My love will follow you everywhere, in death and in new beginnings. My love knows no bounds.

You are a woman.

You are not manipulating. You are not demanding.

You are confident. You are radiant. You are inviting.

You are a woman.

..and you need Me.

You have given your yes to me first. I am your First Love.

You are most beautiful when you are in love. That’s true. You are most beautiful when you are in my love.

You are pursued. You are worth fighting for. You have been and you will continue to be romanced all the days of your life.

I find you the most beautiful bride. I have moved heaven and earth to win your eternal days back. I will not rest until you’re completely Mine.

Your beauty matters. Offer it. Unveil it.

When you finally understand that you are beautiful despite your scars, you will start to live a secured identity. And when you are finally secured, you will start to express love, the kind of love that this world needs.

When you choose not to hide your beauty, when you choose to offer your heart, when you choose to be seen for who I have truly created you..

Then, you are choosing to love and to be genuinely loved.

You are so loved.

I long for you.

You are the one who overwhelms my heart with your “God, lead me.” I want to lead you. I want to be your beginning, end, and all your in betweens. I want to lead you.

You are the one who takes my breath away by your gentle heart that, against all odds, hopes in Me.

I want to be so alive in you. I want to share in your days and decisions, your desires and your disappointments.

I want intimacy with you, whether in madness or your normal days, in your projects and meetings, in your laundry and things-to-do-lists, in your conversations and daydreams. I want my heart to be connected to your heart, all the time.

No, I am not interested to the woman you think you are supposed to be. I want intimacy with the real you, the truest you.

And I will continually chase after you. I will not stay as the God of your Sunday mornings, but as the pursuer of your heart.

Your Lover, who bridge every separation possible from you.

You are mine. You are forgiven. You are a woman.

And I love you, eternally.

Dear Christians, Maybe This Is Not Always The Right Thing To Say

My boyfriend and I were in a conversation the other day when he suddenly bursted with, “I completely disagree when people say that.”

It got me thinking for days. It made me evaluate my words in a wider sense.

And it’s true. It may sound heavenly to our ears but it is not always the right thing to say.


1. Let go and let God.

Every time a friend who’s really having a hard time comes to us and ask for a loving comfort, expect that this line will never go missing in the script.

“God sees all your effort. You’ve done everything. Maybe it’s time to let go and let God.”

More often than not, we carelessly say these words because this advise has been passed on to us by another leader of the church or by another friend too. Worst, we just use this one liner to end our advise on a really good note — missing out the part when we should be asking the Lord for wisdom for words that would breath life and light.

No, don’t always land your advise with, “let go and let God.” Remember that our Christian walk is a process of sanctification. Our faith is a fight. It’s not full of sunsets and flowers. Although it’s beautiful yet it’s one messy journey too. And that’s totally fine.

So next time a friend comes to you, encourager her. Build her up. Let your next rally be not “Let go and let God.” but “Trust God more and keep going.”

2. God will not give you something more than you can handle.

If you’d throw this line at me, I’m not sure if I would feel encouraged or belittled. I feel sad when I hear people say, “God surely knows my limits. He won’t give me something I can’t handle.”

Here’s the thing honey: The kind of God that I know is the kind of God who believes in you more than you’ll ever know. The kind of God who proves that impossible is possible. The kind of God who proves that miracles happen. The kind of God who wants a relationship with you more than anything in this world.

Now, if He only gives you things that you can handle, what in the world do you still need Him for? Truth is, God will give you more than you can handle. This will make you kneel down on your knees asking for grace and strength from Him. This will make you lean on Him alone. This will make you know Him deeper. This will make you open your bible and crave for His word for you.

This will make your faith be rooted only to His promises and not by your own strength.

Yet here’s a greater news: When God gives you more than you can handle, He will crush all your fears until love is the only thing that would remain. He will silence your enemies and will give you peace that transcends all understanding.

Everything that can happen to you, big or small, has been already defeated on the Cross. He won’t give you something that He can’t handle.

3. There is a right time for everything.

Although, I agree to this a hundred percent yet a lot of people start to use this as a fair excuse of not pursuing that calling they have been given.

“I know in time, I will be able to obey.

I know in time, I will be able to forgive.

I know in time, I can generously give too.”

I’d like to believe that God can overpower time. He can make your heart obey now yet he doesn’t. Because He lavishly loves you. He wants you to reach a point that you will choose to obey, to forgive, and to give. He wants you to choose Him all by yourself, and not because He forced you to do it.

C’mon young heart, don’t just wait. Wherever you are, whatever season you are in, God’s grace is freely available for you. Choose to forgive just like how God has forgiven you for all your sins. Choose to give even in lackness. Always choose to obey the Lord, in and out of season.

4. God helps those who help themselves.

I don’t know with you but if God only helps those who help themselves, then we are in serious trouble.

There will be a time in your life when things can only be fixed by God’s divine intervention. A dream can only be made possible if God’s hands are at work. And that’s not because you help yourself, but because you humbled yourself in the Lord.

Here’s one thing that you should never forget: That while we were helpless, Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5:6)

And nope, God doesn’t help those who help themselves.

God helps those who humble themselves, repent and rely on Jesus alone. He wants you to cry out help from Him. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

Slow Down, Single Woman.

Hi there, beautiful. I have a word for you: Slow down.

I know that you are brimming with excitement as new things start to unfold. You can’t help it but to outpour passion and even exceed the works that your hands can do. I won’t blame you. The new hope that is in you is radiating. It’s overflowing. You’ve never been so attractive.

Yet, slow down.


You are starting things differently this time. You are no longer walking without a vision. In fact, this time, you’ll start running yet with no intention of being first in the finish line but with heart who wants to find pleasure in the process. You will enjoy each move. Your eyes no longer see the finish line as the victory but see victory in every step of the way.

You were once a slave of achieving dreams after dreams and dreams. Yet I am writing this to let you know that you are now a picture of a woman who rests in God’s promises and who’s confidence is found in His faithfulness.

Slow down.

You are no longer searching for answers. You have learned that God’s thoughts in His mind are always higher than yours. That overthinking won’t help and won’t resolve anything this time. Yet in slowing down, He’ll reveal what’s to come.

He is in the slowing down. God is in the waiting.

Slow down, beloved.

All of those are coming your way. All of those heart’s desires are going to come. You’ll see them come to pass — each of them. The One who promised it holds the time. So let go, trust in Him. Don’t try to manipulate things this time. You have proven so many times that your ways seem right but in the end, it leads to death.

You have matured, my friend. Your focus are now set upon His gaze.

Your work no longer aim to please men but to please the King.

Your heart no longer wants to be upfront but enjoys being still behind the curtain.

Your words are no longer for you but all for His purpose. You have surrendered the pain and trusted that He is perfect in all of His ways.

Know that as you put Him first, you will never ran out of passion for what He has called you to do. As you put Him first, it will be easy to identify distractions. You will now find it honorable to say “no” because you are secured where you are called for the season.

You know that by saying “no,” you’ll enjoy where you are and you’ll be at peace that everything will just follow.

So slow down, single woman.

This time, really taste and see that the Lord is good – every bit of Him. Do not miss out on anything that He wants you to hear. Don’t lose yourself yet again in the busyness of the system. 

Everyday, thirst for more of Him. Slow down and feel His sweet embrace.

Slow down and start smiling at Him in the morning.

Slow down and start finding pleasure to where He has placed you now ..and not just in times of traveling.

It’s time to enjoy slowing down and appreciating the glorious blessings you have in your hands. Be intentional again in building relationships. You are going deeper this time. No offense will stop you from loving. You are keeping the truth in your heart that there is no chain that His love can break.

Slow down. Let His voice lead you on. He’ll finish all He has begun.

Slow down, single woman.

..because you are no longer after great things, you are now in faith for miracles.

Dear 2016, Job well-done.

I don’t want to say goodbye to you once you’re gone. I want you to know how deep this gratitude is while you are still here with me, breathing and running.

Dear 2016, job well-done.

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I did not expect you to be this good. You have brought me to mountains that I did not just pass but you had given me the grace to move them. I conquered them because you have believed in me. You pushed me to not settle. You told me that I am created for a purpose far greater than any dream I have for myself.

You taught my heart to love beyond what my eyes can see. You demonstrated a love that pursues me even in my failures. When no one took the decision to stay, you held my hands. You endured my tears and told me, “I am willing to wait. Come back when you’re ready.”

When I woke up the next morning, something in me changed. Your love made me recognize that it’s gone. It’s finally gone. The part of me that I am holding on for so long has ended. And I am ready to submit, to let go, and to discover myself again.

I have forgotten my adoration for flowers. How she needs time to grow and grow and grow before she blooms. How she lets people to forsake her beauty until the time is right. How she never rushed her refinement. And when she blooms, from glory to glory, never missing anything, the heaven and earth rejoice. She knows that she is born for such a time as this. No shame. No doubt. It is written in the hands of her Creator. And even if her time has passed, her petals has gone dry, her fragrance vanished, the works of her Creator never fades. Her beauty remains.

“There are so much more.”

You’re right. There are so much more. You did not stop there.

Brave. You have taught me to be brave. Here’s the thing: Being brave is something I would never use to describe myself.

I want to be gentle, yes. I want to be gracious, oh dear..  yes! I want to be loving and caring and nurturing, yes yes and yes! I want to be all these, leaving the word “brave” behind.

Yet you told me to be brave. To learn how to fight for myself.

Because fighting doesn’t always necessarily mean strong words and winning, but fighting can also be a picture of few words and forfeiting. All for the sake of redeeming something that is of eternal value, like relationship.

You taught me to fight for things with eternal value. Seeing that the grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of the Lord stands forever. His promises cannot be broken. This, I will wholeheartedly fight for.

You told me to be brave so I can stand firm. Because this world is full of people who will try to constrain me with their own standards and culture. Because people will fail. Yet I will stand firm in my faith, upholding only what God has called me to do — not because of anything I have done but because of His own purpose and grace.

You told me to be brave and not to give up when things aren’t favorable. You reminded me that God’s vision should stand still even if things are shaky. You pruned me to become someone who doesn’t just have faith to believe but also have faith to claim.

You instructed me to listen only to that still small voice which says, “The battle has been won. I am in control. I am greater.”

You have given me the biggest lesson my heart can possibly receive: there is a blessing in waiting. 

When you ask me to wait, you want me to enjoy the presence of who God is and not the things He can give or do.

When you ask me to wait, you want me to rest from my own thoughts and actions that are slowly drying my bones.

When you ask me to wait, you are in fact redirecting me towards God’s pleasing and perfect plans.

When you ask me to wait, you have given me the gift of experiencing peace in God’s pauses.

When you ask me to wait, you made me look to the Person of my faith, rather than manipulating my circumstance to receive the object of my wait.

You told me to wait well by focusing on God, not to the season, not to the problem, not to the people, most especially, not to myself.

You told me to wait and hang on in every word He said.

You told me to boast and to humble myself. To boast in Christ alone. To boast in my weaknesses so His power can be made complete in me. To humbly walk to the truth that I am a sinner and I will never qualify for anything good. Yet God’s love and righteousness, took that shame. He proudly claimed, “You are mine. I am yours. I want you, all of you.”

Oh 2016, you made me hear His voice again. You made me feel His heartbeat again. You showed me how my mess can be used by His holy hands. This won’t change: Only in Him I am made complete. Nothing else satisfy. Nothing more can fulfill. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can compare to the love that traded heaven to have me again.

Here we are, day 357 of 2016. Find me here as I breath in a brand new world of new beginnings. Come and sweep me again in God’s unfailing love.


You’re Emotional and That’s Beautiful

“Well, I’m really emotional at times.”

I heard that from a friend two weeks ago. It left tons of questioning in my heart yet I remained silent.

“My boyfriend doesn’t want it when I’m sad. He gets angry when I’m emotional.”

Another friend weepingly uttered those lines two days ago. By that time, my heart was already bursting with battles I wholeheartedly want to fight for.

Women, own this: You’re emotional and that’s beautiful.

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Do not let a foolish guy puts you down because of your emotional tenderness.

God created you to feel everything so you can provide an environment that is warm and inviting. The way I see it, women are to be the joy-makers in the family, creating a home that a husband will want to come after work, a place the kids can call their very own playground, and a dwelling where everyone in the family can be comfortably themselves.

How could you fulfill this role if you let the man of your life restrains you from using the beauty of your emotions? I don’t think a man, who is filled with God’s wisdom, will condemn a woman for what she feels. Instead, he will protect a woman from drowning into her own emotions, which leads to an open door for the enemy to throw lies into her true identity.

A foolish guy would say, “Grow up! Aren’t we over this yet?” The honorable man conveys, “How can I help you overcome this?”

A foolish guy would demand a woman to stop and just move on. The honorable man understands that this phase is part of the commitment he signed up for. He endures.

A foolish guy repeatedly denies a woman’s emotions. The honorable guy chooses to confront these emotions leading to transformation.

A foolish guy will choose the easy path of walking away. The honorable man stays and still sees her beautiful even at her worst heart condition.

A foolish guy stirs. The honorable man protects.

Ladies, learn to use your emotions in your favor, not against you.

Understand that emotions are powerful. Unless you embrace this truth, you will never be able to prepare yourself for your own battle.

The more you disregard your emotions, the more it will pile up into a monster you could have killed the moment it started crippling into your heart.

First, be true to your emotions. If you feel joyful, express it. If you feel the opposite, express it still. Don’t hide it. Don’t put up a fake smile. More than being true to people around you, you owe yourself the honesty of what you truly feel.

When an accountable friend asks, “How’s your heart?”

Don’t be afraid to say, “I am not in my best condition. Can you pray with me?”

Problem is, sometimes we just allow people to join in when the good things happen. But when all the bad things shaken us, we isolate them and place them only in our point of victories. Not allowing them to see the ugly parts, only the beautiful ones.

That is how we develop the culture of building shallow relationships.

I encourage you with this. Let people help you process your emotions. I understand that this can be hard for some people. Here’s a thing: You don’t have to share it to everyone else. Just love yourself enough to admit to yourself what you’re feeling.

Your emotions are not your enemies.

Your emotions are your emotions, but you have got to learn to do this thing called, “thinking.”

I encourage you to be an observer of your emotions, not a reactor. Most people do not know that it’s their emotions that are doing the thinking. It’s the emotion that guides them to a decision. It’s the emotion that runs their season.

No. It shouldn’t be that way. Don’t give in to your emotions too quickly. Learn to delay your reactions and think. Rather than allowing your emotion to control you, lead it. Use it for your advantage.

Develop this habit every time you face your emotions: Delay, pray, think, then respond.

Your emotions are not your enemies. In fact the word ’emotion’ stands for ‘energy in motion.’ With this, let your emotion helps you to move mountains, to overlook an offense, and to minister to a crushed spirit.

After all, trust that the God who created you to feel everything is above any emotions that you are facing. He is beyond joy, despair, excitement, grief, shame, pride, passion, affection, sorrow.

He is greater. He is in control. He is love.







If He doesn’t, He is still good

..and let that be your greatest worship to Him

If God doesn’t, He’s still good.

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If He never heals you, He is still good.

If He never gives the desires of your heart, He is still good.

If He never speaks, He is still good.

If He never meets you on your terms, He is still good.

If He never brings you to your promised land, He is still good.

If He never makes you understand, He is still good.

If He never ends your waiting, He is still good.

If He never presents you the gift of having someone to be with, He is still good.

If He never carries you to the overflowing harvest, He is still good. not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. (Hebrews 10:35)

Sweetheart, if He doesn’t — will you still follow Him?

Will your confidence remain in Him?

Will you still hope in Him?

Will you still confess, “He is faithful.”

Will you still pray with a childlike faith?

So, do not throw away your confidence dear one. Do not do it!

Because He is better.

He’s better than anything you can name. He’s better than anything you could take. He’s better than anything your life could get into. He’s better than the victory you’re asking after your crisis. He’s better than any of your good preferences. He’s simply, the superior of all. 

He is your fullness.

You want to know how to make Satan mad? If he hears you say, “I will dance in these disappointments. I choose to worship. I choose Jesus.”

Oh beloved, with that confidence in your heart — I can imagine the devil grumbling, “Dang it! I don’t have her!”

Even in the midst of your questions, decide that it’s okay not to understand. You just want Jesus.

I just want Jesus.

“But you don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve already thrown my confidence away. I no longer trust fully to the name who saves me. My confidence is gone.

Here you are ..broken and left with no courage to move forward.

And it’s okay. After all, love is never born in stillness and safety. It blooms in mess and pain.

I understand. Trust me when I say that I have been there. It was a perishing season which made me cling on more to the steadfast love of Jesus Christ. It was a season when God will drop love letters for me everywhere, reminding me that I’m not defeated. That I am no longer slave to fear. If He could do it to me, He could do it to you too. Let’s get that confidence back, shall we?

Let’s be vulnerable. Do you trust me? Let’s strip down all those walls. I am with you. I believe in you. I want to hear you.

Maybe you lost your confidence because of a violated conscience. Maybe there are areas in your life living in disobedience. So now in relationships, you can no longer look people in the eye because of what you are hiding. Or maybe there is this unresolved bitterness in your heart which leads to forgiveness that God initiated but you have not.

Then this happened.

You ran away. You turned away. You have tried everything else except Him.

Yet, this my friend, I am sure of: In the end, where else could you go? Nothing else fulfills when you find it; nothing else forgives when you fail it. No one takes you back like He does.

Remember this word again: Grace.

Grace is forgiving. Grace heals.

Grace is thoughtful. It listens to your back story, and still eager to hear your commentaries.

Grace regards all flaws.

Grace covers your past and empowers your future. It does not condemn, but convicts and brings life again.

Grace looks at what could be instead of what should have been.

Grace confronts the worst of a person and does not shy away when it reaches the darkest part: because at our worst, we realize how much we must confront the ugliness inside.

Grace restores there, in the wreckage. It heals the fractured fallen weary sinner.

It is not what we deserve, but what we need: and Jesus saw what we deserved, but gave us what we needed, Him.

That’s grace.

Love unconditional, undeserved, unrelenting, always resurrecting.

Dear friend, your confidence is coming back.