Long walks. I always enjoy having long walks on the way home.
Especially if I only have my back pack or sling bag with me.
Especially if times are rough and I know for a fact that only the sky above can listen to me.
Especially if the ranting side of me suddenly wants to burst out.
Especially if all I can hear is my heart and none of the sound of this world.
Especially last week.
There are just days that I can’t just simply choose to be joyful. And one of those days were last week.
I found myself ranting and ranting over someone who seemingly doesn’t appreciate all my effort and hard work.
I clearly remember what my words were, “If he only knows..”
If he only knows how I work hard to make this relationship works.
If he only knows how willing my heart is to set aside everything just to make time for him.
If he only knows how I tried to put effort over and over again just to forgive him each day.
If he only knows how special he is.
And more “if he only knows” lines from me. It seems like I didn’t even get tired of letting my thoughts run and allowing God to hear it. I have very legit thoughts of “Lord, it seems like this person doesn’t understand me at all!”
Until I heard a very familiar voice said,
“Joena, if you only know too..”
I was shocked.
I needed to stop walking.
I needed to grip to my backpack lace tighter.
I was lost for words.
I realized how selfish I am. God showed to me how inconsiderate awful person I am.
I know I needed to repent.
And then He made me remember what He said in Isaiah 55:8,
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”
Lord, I am grateful for having these long walks conversations with you. Thank you for last week. 🙂