“Yet, here I am, asking for more.”

He is all about hearts and flowers
He knows how to take my breath away
He is an extravagant abundant lover
And He loves to reveal His heart to me
Again and again
. . .and again

Yet, here I am, asking for more.

For More

I want the city life, but when all is said and done,
I long to raise a bunch of kids in a meadow
With the momentum of the sunrise and the sunset.

I adore the rain, but loves how the summer breeze brings warmth and hope to the hearts of people.

I delight in talking and expressing my thoughts
Though, a day or two, I crave for silence.

Technology is my thing
But, plainly, that alone, is a boring life.
I urge for handwritten letters
Long drives (and long walks too!)
Fallen leaves
and oh, those little things.

Then, He saw it.
To my surprise, He still loved me.
HE STILL LOVED ME.

“I love you despite the mercurial you.”

Yet, here I am, asking for more.

So I continue.
I fancied for flowers and chocolates
and candlelight dinners.

His answers all came in the form of sunsets and falling stars,
Moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies
Warm wind
Swaying trees
Lush gardens
And fierce charming words of truth and promises. . .

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.”
– Song of Songs 2:10

This romancing is immensely personal. It is as if it has been scripted for my heart, alone.

He knows what makes my heart beat faster.
I have missed many of His affection because I simply shut my heart down.
My heart was foolishly busy
To someone and to something.

Yet, here I am, asking for more.

I felt a little silly in asking
For I knew the truth.

That God had already proven His love for me.
He had paid the highest price imaginable for me
He had rescued me for all time sake!

He had given me all of creation to speak of His great glory and love
He had given me the Word of God in all its depth and beauty,
. . .and here I am, asking for more

And God loved it.
I can’t believe it when He said,

“I love your vulnerability as any Lover does.
I love it when you share your truest heart’s desire with me.”

It is somewhere where we can both be right.

Now, this is not to say that life is one big romantic moment with Jesus.
I live a life much like anyone does.

Full of demands, pressures, disappointments.
Right now, my paperworks are piling up.
The time is never on my side
My room is a mess
There’s no food for lunch
And my goodness, I long for that out of town trip.

Like you, there are seasons in my life when Jesus seems very near and seasons where I can’t seem to find Him at all.

Sometimes, it feels like we are playing a game of hide-and-seek.
Frankly? He got all the best hiding places in His deck.
After a while, I always end up losing the game
He always ends up searching for me.

My times of desolation
My times of exhaustion
My times of emptiness

In these times, an open heart notices.
What am I feeling?
I want Him
I desperately want Him.

As if I want to go back
To my favorite place in the world
In His arms.

The one hanging in the thread is that by this time I handle my heart differently.

I ask the Lover to come for me, and with all grace available,
I kept my eyes and my heart open to His coming
No matter how long.

I choose not to shut down.
I let the tears come
I allow the ache to swell into a longing prayer

And He comes, dear hearts.
He does come.

Here comes my,
“More.”

He has many for you as well.
Perhaps today is a good day to ask for your own,
“Here I am, asking for more. . .”

11 thoughts on ““Yet, here I am, asking for more.”

  1. Hi miss Joana! Your write-ups are really great, and inspiring too. I want to have that kind of heart because you are so in love to the Creator of love! Reading your write-up seems like I was the one who wrote it because I am feeling the same way too! Thank you for making my feelings into words. I am looking forward for more write-ups to be read, and meditated. God bless you ate! God bless your heart! Thank you. 🙂

      • Superb writing! I’m so glad that I come across your blog!Kudos!
        I’m still reading each of your blog, beautifully-written.
        Ang galing ng pagkasulat, so relatable and empowering to the point made me realize how really awesome God is.
        Looking forward to read more blogs!
        God bless! 🙂

  2. Your blog ignites me to pick up on my writing again! 🙂
    I’m a journalism student and a Youth for Christ member, I actually discovered your blog through a fellow member.
    Nakatulong yung mga blogs mo, kasi parang lately puro thesis nalang ang inaasikaso ko.(Graduating na,thank God!this coming April) Then I saw your blog!God works in such an enigmatic way!
    I followed you on Instgram too! 🙂
    Discovering your social media is very enlightening!
    Thank you so much joensandiego!
    It’s really a pleasure to know you! 😀

  3. Hi ate! napadpad ako sa blog mo and i think im inlove. 😍 Your words make me cry and laugh. Can i ask if how long have you been on your faith? im struggling with mine. Good day!

    • Hello, there! Thank you for falling in love with the words. I hope that it will lead you to the love that is always unfailing, the love of God for you. 😊 I’m saved for about 6 years now. Yay! I think no matter how long or how short the timeframe of my Christian faith is, I will always be in constant struggle. I pray that in this season, you choose to focus your eyes on Jesus. He got you. Focus to the things of eternal value. This is just a season, beautiful. Praying for you! 😘

  4. Your blog is more than just a writing but really a manifestation of His faithfulness. Thank you for allowing yourself to be used by God. I just found your blog yesterday and will definitely share this to other. God bless your sincere heart 🙂

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