Build Him Up, Not Bully Him

This time, I’m on the side of the men.
Forgive me ladies but I think lately, we are forgetting how to truly speak with gentleness and love.
I have been reading a lot of posts about women degrading the value of men because of some failed relationships or even just because of some small mistakes. And no, I’m not putting aside the pain that we, women, felt.
But since when it became more important to win an argument or a conflict rather than winning a person in the relationship?
Whether it’s online or when we’re with our group of girlfriends, we allow our passion to convey something win over than really thinking, “Am I building him up when I say this?” or I just want to fulfill my satisfaction to release my thoughts?
Not all who are passionate are driven out of love. It’s always better to check our hearts first.
So here goes to you men, you still have us on your side. 🙂
1. Build him up, not bully him.
A few months ago, I had a talk with my boyfriend regarding a female friend of us. I shared with him my heart on how I dislike how this friend of us talks to him. She frequently speaks careless words that are either just for the sake of a good laugh but obviously putting my boyfriend down.
When I expressed my observations to my boyfriend, he told me that he didn’t mind it all. That he got used to it. And this is where the issue enters. Because men got used to us, women, speaking death to them, they didn’t mind receiving the destructive words. What’s scary is eventually they will live up to it.
Then we, women, wonder why can’t they act out of leadership? When all we do is to throw them words full of death than words that give life.
So for you gentleman, you also have a right to speak out. Don’t allow our words to kill what God has called you It’s our joy to be corrected by a man who can lead. You are called to build His church and to love His bride.
2. Men, you are made to pursue not to please.
I understand that women need pursuing but sometimes we get too demanding too. Regardless of how much you love us, please hold your ground and say, “Honey, enough is enough. Let me lead you just like how God called me to lead.”
Women can really push you to your limits. And aren’t you thankful that through us, God grows you in so much patience, kindness, self-control, and selfless love? I know, you’re welcome.
Haha. Kidding all aside, dear men, this is a good reminder not just for you guys but also for us, women, to go back to your original proposal: Can I pursue you?
“Can I pursue you?” not “Can I please you?”
Pleasing really fails in comparison of what Pursuing can bring.
Pursuing means you do it together, you run after it together. You pursue Jesus Christ together. Your relationship brings glory to God. Your relationship worships the Lord.
Pleasing means bringing satisfaction, whether it’s her satisfaction or your own satisfaction. It means, “Give it to me or else I won’t go with you.”
Pleasing is not a path for two people.
Pursuing is a road walked by two people wanting to reach the same goal: To know God more.
So here’s a better progress:

From “Can I pursue you?” to “Can I pursue God with you?”

After all, nobody likes to hear the words, “You did not run after me.”
Men, your real job is to bring us closer to Christ and not to our heart’s desires.
Don’t worry. God’s grace is always sufficient no matter how hard headed ladies can be.
All prayers go to you, mighty men. Off to your leadership role!

4 thoughts on “Build Him Up, Not Bully Him

  1. It is amazing how God uses you to help others see the things they fail to notice. I’m looking forward to meeting you and have healthy conversations. May God use you even more for the advancement of his kingdom.

  2. Hi po Ms. Joena!!! Can I ask lang po? How can you assure that it is from God? I mean, pano niyo po malalaman if galing kay Lord, or should I say na approve na ni Lord. Thank you!!! Continue to be a blessing to someone and More of Jesus!! Lovelots. ❤️

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