You Don’t Need the Ideal Guy

Ladies, I hope you won’t hate me for this.

I am not trying to break your dreams nor your long time fantasy of being with this “Ideal Guy” who happens to be the most caring man in the world, the most loving man in the entire planet, and of course.. the most good looking man you’d see in your whole lifetime existence.

Oh dear, I am also not in the pursuit of breaking your list of qualities for a man you’re looking for. I am not saying either that having a list is a bad idea. In fact, I have my own list. Proudly written in bold letters, standing so firmly with the words, “I want a guy who is..” See? I am not looking for troubles with your list, young lady.

Nope, I am not up for that.

But hey, I am going to fight for this: You don’t need the ideal guy.

Because he’s not going to help you grow

We are living in an age where we are used to getting everything in an instant. Dial some numbers and the pizza will come right in front of your doorsteps. The “abs body” comes in four easy drills. For goodness sake, even reading your bible comes in a snap! Download it and they will even give you alarms for following a 30-day plan on how to revive your faith while having your morning walk with your dog. Man, there’s no escape with this.

Beloved, get this. The guy that God has for you doesn’t come in an instant. He will not knock at your door saying, “I am the one. I am perfect in all of my ways. I have it all. There’s no blemish in me.” God is not going to send you such guy. If there is someone who cares the most about your growth, that would be the greatest Lover of your soul, Jesus.

How would you learn what unconditional love really is if you are going to be with a guy who checked all the terms? How would you ever learn patience, pure kindness, mercy, forgiveness if you are with someone who never failed you and who never sinned against you? How would you learn to genuinely pour out grace to someone if you are with a guy who doesn’t need it because he is deserving of all good things?

The main purpose of you being in a relationship is that, through the relationship, you become the person formed slowly but surely in the image of Jesus Christ. If it doesn’t sanctify you in becoming Christlike, therefore the relationship is failing.

Remember that yes, it’s easier to watch someone else and expect someone to be “ideal” in every way possible but using your hands and doing the hard work will make you encounter how the Lord works in action. Nothing beats being a part of turning something ugly into reaching its utmost beauty.

Because it’s not what you have. It’s how you handle what you have.

God never cares on the things you’re giving Him. He cares more about the heart behind giving. That is what God wants to know: How do you handle it? It’s not the man that you have. It’s how you handle the man that you have to gain the relationship that you want. (Same goes with men)

And God is so gracious, full of power, able to do all things that for those who are mishandling their seasons, He’s securing you right now, “I heard your cry. I will handle it. I will handle it for you.”

Trust me when I say that God has a different way in handling things. When you tell Him that you are broken and in sheer pain, He’d tell you, “Forgive and love more.” When you are totally drained and exhausted from a long day of work, He’d tell you, “Here’s my strength. Use it. Go for an extra mile.” When His people ask Him, “How do we break this high walls of Jericho?” You’d expect that He’ll give a wrecking ball. Guess what He gave? A trumpet.

Why? Because God has strange ways of handling things.

“I don’t think the way you think.
    The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
        God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
    so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
    and the way I think is beyond the way you think.”

(Isaiah 55:8-11 MSG)

You might be in a situation right now and you think that there’s no way out. I want you to know that God is handling it and you don’t even know it. He proves it on the Cross. When you expect God to send a superhero to save the world but He sent a baby born in the manger for the salvation of many. Cause God handles things in a strange way.

I know that the wait has been long ..long enough to lose hope and to give up this fight of faith. Yet trust that God is on the move for you.

Jesus answered, “You don’t understand now what I’m doing, but it will be clear enough to you later.” (John 13:7 MSG)

I’m a teacher. That alone is enough to say that the job is hard. But let me complete the statement with, “I am a teacher ..in a Thai government school.” Can you imagine how difficult it is to handle a class of twenty to thirty kids who can’t easily comprehend your medium of instruction, which is English? If you and your lesson is not interesting enough, expect that a fight will break out inside your classroom. I mean, if they get bored, they will become brutally active. I have to be always on the move.

One day, I was having my morning class and for couple of seconds, I turned around to write something on the board and when I looked back, there was a fight happening at the corner of my room. It was a complete riot. I can’t handle it. I walked out. Shut the door and I sat under the biggest tree in school. My thoughts quickly escalated, “Lord, if you want me to quit my job, let me do it now. I would rather quit now than go back there.”

After few minutes, Sirachai, the biggest kid in the class came up to me and Sirachai really likes me. He said, “Yo teacher.. you can stay here as long as you need. Get yourself together. It’s cool. But I want you to know, that I just had a talk with them. And when you decide to come back in, IT IS HANDLED.”

I don’t know what he said to those kids. I don’t even want to know. But when I went back to that room, it was like a military scene. Everybody were sitting accordingly in their chairs. They act like robots. Whatever I say, they will follow.

Because He handled it.

Have you ever had a situation in your life where you don’t know what to do and you don’t want to come back in? You don’t want to try again. You don’t even want to face your future because of the pain of the past.

And here comes Jesus, walking up to you, saying, “Whenever you are ready to come back in and do what I have called you to do, come on back in. It is handled, my child. It is handled.”

When you thought that you were dying, you weren’t dying. He was delivering you from pain and shame. The weapons that were used against you will be used for you to succeed.

With arms stretch wide, I am going to say one more time: You don’t need the ideal guy. You need the One who is not just ideal but highest in all of His ways, Jesus.