Hi, girl. ☺️
I don’t know you but I thank you for trusting me enough to speak to your life during this rusty season. Thank you also for reading the blog. I personally hope that it led you to some serious conversations with the Lord.
To get this started with, I feel like you should be fully aware that I am not presently engaged with any relationship, which means you are currently asking an advise from a woman whose perspective might be different from those who currently have boyfriends.
Yet, I prayed for you so much in the past few days. I asked the Lord way too many times on the things I should tell you. Left on my own, I could be telling you million of things (selfish ones), yet I vowed that I would only speak words if they came from God. Trust me that this conversation between you and me will be tough. It’s going to be an honest one but it will heal you. So girl, let your heart listen, okay? Feel free to pause when you feel like you need it. The words can wait, true healing takes time.
1. Why are you in a relationship?
I need you to ask this question to yourself. Right now. Think about it. Why are you in a relationship? You said in your words, “I can’t see myself with anyone.” Then, what are you doing with him? Don’t you think you’re making life unfair not just for him but for you as well.
Darling, you can’t enter a relationship feeling so in love and then in the middle of it, when all the hearts and flowers are gone, you’ll suddenly feel like you want to quit. That’s why love is more than all the emotions you can feel. It is more than all the admirable looks your heart can melt for. Love has always been a decision you choose everyday.
So if your answer to my question, “Why are you in a relationship?” is because you love him. Therefore, stop from all these nonsense selfish wanderings, and go back to loving.
2. Question is, “Are you capable of truly loving the person you are with?”
I will be totally honest with you. Girl, when I read your message. I became mad. I became sad. I grieved at those harsh words you allowed yourself to believe.
“I deserve no one.”
Jesus thought you are deserving of the greatest love. He thought you are worthy to die for. He never had second thoughts of accepting those wounds because He knows by those stripes, you will be healed. Girl, God thought you deserve the greatest Man, Jesus.
“I was unlovable..”
Guess what? Me too. We all are. Let me share to you that it was just recently that I deeply acknowledged that my heart is cruel. It is greedy. It is self-centered. It thinks only of itself. But that realization brought me to deeper understanding of how much I needed God more in my life.
Left on my own, I could be doing things I thought that are good. But God wants pure, not just good. The more I accept that my heart is deceiving, the more I anchor to His grace to make me love people the way He loves them. I realized that there’s no other way to love, except the way Jesus does.
Girl, from this point, you can choose which path to take: (1) you’ll stop there thinking you are unlovable or, (2) you’ll allow Jesus to transform the unlovable to lovable, to someone who is captivating.
“I would be alone forever.”
I am so mad at the enemy for putting this lie to your heart. Since you are born, you have never been alone. I don’t know what is the status of your relationship with your parents but I hope it’s going great. If yes, then would you do me a favor and look back to the times how they embraced you so dearly in their hearts. Your parents love you. They care for you.
Your friends. I’m sure you have friends, right? They love you too, despite the weird you. Despite the over thinker that you are. And hey, from now on, I am your friend too. I care for you. I honestly want to know you more. If we’re living in the same city, I would probably invite you for a date and trust me, we’ll laugh and cry a lot (and eat a lot hehe). I want to pray for you more. Because you are loved. You are all together beautiful, beloved.
Above all, the big Guy above? He’s the One who never left you. He has always been there. During those times that you felt you were at your happiest, during those times that you felt like the whole world turned its back to you, during those times that your dreams look way beyond reachable, He was there. He was there comforting you. He was there saving you from all your enemies. He was there sustaining you from all the pain. He was there giving you the true joy. He is the source of that joy.
You are never alone. You are never meant to be forever alone.
I want you to know that whatever this life might bring, God will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, girl. God, Himself, is the one who goes with you. You only need to say, “God, I need you. Fight for me.”
3. Break up with yourself, not with your boyfriend.
If you continually think of those selfish reasoning, the only things that would solve this, is for you to break up with yourself.
You have to stop thinking that it is all about you. Stop thinking where could you go next. Stop, please. Start living the moment now. Enjoy the season you are in. Love is so beautiful, my friend. Don’t waste even a single moment of it. There is a time for everything. I believe that in this season, God is calling you to love deeper. God is calling you to love differently. God is calling you to love others more than you love yourself. God is calling you to love Him first before loving others.
When you love Him first, you will be able to love the way He does. Because, “we love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
My dear friend, can I just pray for you?
“God thank you for this woman’s life. Thank you that she is about to enter an exciting season with you. I pray that you open her eyes to see You and none but You. I pray that in this season, you pour out love to her like she never experienced before. I pray that through this love, all the pain will be gone. Her past will be washed away. Her future will be secured in you. I pray that her relationship with her boyfriend would bring glory to Your name. I pray that she will get to enjoy this relationship because she will get to know the Author of relationships, You. She is your treasure, God. I pray that her identity will be only found in You. I cancel any lies of the enemy in her life. Let Your love be the only truth left in her. Bring people to her life who would remind her of how greatly loved she is. Thank you that you would remind her that she is worth pursuing. Thank you God for Your unfading love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”