When We First Met

When we first met, I thought to myself, “Is this real? He’s coming towards me. He’s here.”

All my walls got broken. Your presence had blown me away. You’ve won my heart.

For that moment, I knew, I’m keeping you. I’m keeping you close. I’m keeping you tighter than ever.

For once, both my mind and my heart said, “Yes.”

There were no fights. I can’t even remember my mind asking questions nor my heart doubting and fearing. They just want the same thing at the same time.

They want you. All of you. Just you.

When we first met, I thought to myself, “I’m going to make him stay. I will never let go.”

I am determined to make you a constant. I have tasted and seen of how good life is with you and there’s no way I’m letting go. I’m never going back to where my life used to be. You’ve brought me to a greater height. You’ve made me reached the hope of making things possible. You’ve drowned me in a love, which accepts who I am as I am.

When we first met, I thought to myself, “How can I make you stay?”

So I’ve made up mind to know you more. I’ve read books after books about you. All about you. You amazed me. You inspired me. You made me hungry for more of you and do you know what’s more exciting? It’s the wonder that knowing you also meant knowing me.

You’ve made me discover things about myself that no one has ever told me before. I have strengths and weaknesses; both are welcomed in you.

You’ve brought me to people, who know you far longer than I do. They encouraged me to walk longer and even farther. To step into the unknown, to believe to the promises yet to be fulfilled, to have hope that never dies. They told me, “You will never be alone.”

When we first met, I thought to myself, “Is he going to get tired of me too?”

I’m scared. I’ve been running. I’ve been working. I’m making our relationship work.

I don’t want to lose you. Not you.

I’m afraid that when you see the one thing that I have been keeping to myself, you’ll turn away too. I’m not scared of the shame and condemnation.

I’m scared of not having you because you’ve grown tired of me failing you over and over again.

I’m scared that you no longer see me as your beauty but just another story.

I’m scared of not being involved with you.

When we first met, I thought to myself, “Is this worth it? Am I worthy?”

 

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When we first met, I told myself, “Oh she has no idea how I’m going to make her world turn upside down. I’m going to love her from the beginning ’till the end.”

I moved heaven and earth just for us to reach this moment — when we first met.

In fact, this wasn’t the first time I laid my eyes on you. I have been watching you from afar. I have been keeping you safe. I have been reaching during your busy days. I have been whispering all day and all night that I love you.

I have waited for you. You are everything I made you to be.

When we first met, I told myself, “I am committed to her. My love for her will be the same yesterday, today and forever.”

You’ve held me tighter than anybody else could. You made me smile.

You even told me that I am yours. I like that. I kept those words in the tablet of my heart.

I am yours. You are mine.

You were so eager to know me. You were so eager to know us. You dived into the wisdom of books and listened to so many words of people. Yet, I hoped you have asked me. The one thing I have been longing, for you to come and ask. I want our relationship to be personal.

Remember, I am yours, you are mine.

When you heard enough, then I wondered, why did you suddenly grew tired? You started doubting. Trusting me is no longer enough. Your grip started to loosen. Your doubts are taking over, but I’m still holding you longer, forever.

When we first met, I told myself, “I will never get tired of you.”

You are the reason for my existence.

You are the reason for my beautiful death.

You are the reason for this fight.

There’s nothing that you could do to make me love you less.

When we first met, I told myself, “Everything is worth it. This, right here, is worth it. She is going to be everything I made her to be; gracious and kind, forgiving and abounding, always curious but eternally victorious.”

When we first met, I told myself, “One day, she will realize that nothing in this world will ever separate her from my love.”

You stumble and cry, I am here. Go back to where we first met.

You met this man and you got your heart broken, I am still here. Go back to where we first met.

You have put your hope to things with temporary value and it crushed you, pieces to pieces, I am still here my beloved. Go back to where we first met.

You felt ashamed. You’re surrounded by lies. You’re blinded by condemnation. I’m coming through. I’m here, where we first met.

Come back, come back.

— when we first met.