“If loving you means rebuking and correcting you then I would wholeheartedly do it, even if it means putting our relationship at stake.”
Trust me, when I heard those words, I felt deeply and truly loved. Funny but I have never been so excited to be rebuked again. I finally understood that rebuking and correcting someone is one of the greatest demonstration of love. It’s an act of allowing yourself to be used by God to bring back a sinner from his wondering.
Rebuking is God asking, “Beloved, are you ready for your finest moment?”
Response is all up to us. Are we going to allow ourselves to be pulled closer to His heart or to be pulled closer to our flesh?
Learned that those who truly loves you will make you want to grow into your whole being. The person will make you want to fill up the space you once apologized for.
The person who loves you sees you as the most beautiful when you are in your most humbling moments.
The person who genuinely cares for you desires to be with you when your mourning turn into dancing.
The person who faithfully believes in you would remind you that you are still a work in progress yet declares the truth over your life that you are no longer a slave. Dear one, broken are the chains from your past. Embrace the love which proclaims that you can stand victorious and blameless. Grace will carry you from shame into new beginnings.
And yet, all these are possible if rebuking is done right. Have you ever been corrected by someone and instead of feeling redeemed and loved, you felt like you were burned? You decided to walk away only to find yourself in isolation, pursuing faith solo until you eventually just gave up. Instead of ending the conversation in prayer, the conversation left you hanging with confusing thoughts screaming, “I am better than you!”
So here me out, my dear friends, given a privilege to rebuke someone, this is how will it look like.
We will talk in private.
The purpose of this conversation is not to make me look better than you. It should not put you into any embarrassing and humiliating situation. I respect you too much that I would wait for you to answer before I drag you to the corner. Lets have our own sanctuary in the Lord. Lets invite His presence in our little talk. The enemy will try his best to snatch away the joy that we are about to experience yet lets hold unswervingly to the promise that every word in 2 Corinthians 3:17 conveys, “..where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
Lets watch how our hearts will shift as we invite the Holy Spirit into our private conversation. He will flood the atmosphere with freedom from sin, freedom from burdens, freedom from shame, and freedom from chains.
All of these, in our private conversation, my dear friend.
I will ask for your side of the story. Always.
I promise not to start with accusing statements like, “You should have not reacted that way.” or “How could you not thought of it first before you acted selfishly?” instead, I’ll throw you with questions. Questions that would lead you to dig deeper to the real condition of your heart.
It is as simple as a straightforward question, “Friend, what happened?”
Honey, it will be our honesty hour.
I commit to be quick to listen and slow to speak in your stories. I am making a covenant that no judgments will be brought forth to our gentle discussion. Your thoughts will be heard. Your side of the story is relevant.
However, one thing I won’t allow, for the truth to be twisted. We might have two sides of the stories but at the end of the day, we will only go for one story. We will go to the story of Jesus and we will be eager to make it louder than our own biographies and fantasies.
You are allowed to be offended.
..but you are not allowed to stay there
I will let you feel all the emotions you want to feel during our talk. You are entitled to. I want you to feel safe with me. I want you to fully acknowledge that you are a human, and you are not God.
You are rebuked. You are hurt. You are loved.
I’ve learned that every feeling will pass if you give it time. So don’t rush to cover them up, or you’re never gonna learn.
My friend, the love that will carry you is going to wait for you to say, “Hey, I’ve got this darkness. Could you help me clear it out for good?”
Lets go back to loving, together.
Tell her that her sad days are gone. (Isaiah 40:2)
We have our terrible weaknesses yet our God is the God of glorious strengths.
We will go back to loving, together. I would rather enjoy the companionship of raw tainted hearts than being with those who kept on walking the journey with their reputation as their priority.
Lets go back to the kind of love which compels people to love so well— so deep and so wide— that eventually their own self-obsession would get swallowed up by a bigger story.
It’s 2016: capture someone and make them sit at your table. Welcome them as they are. Tell them it’s okay to eat. Feed them with honey toast. Tell them you’ve got darkness too. It’s okay… That’s all you have to say to someone today: It’s okay, we are going to clear this mess out together. I won’t run. Rebuke me, please?
Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Timothy 2:22)